© Lauren Baxter 2021.
I’m standing in a bar. It’s one year ago to the day. My friend is DJing and I’ve assured him the track won’t clear the dancefloor. Keep Yourself Warm begins to play and before I know it, I’m sobbing. Loud, guttural sobbing. Surrounded by strangers all singing Scott Hutchison’s lyrics into the night.
On 10 May 2018, Frightened Rabbit’s Scott Hutchison died by suicide. It was one of those times where I remember exactly where I was when I found out. Walking home from work, scrolling absentmindedly on my phone, the news hit me like an emotional gut-punch. I felt hurt. I felt grief. I felt stupid. I had never met this man, why was I having such a visceral reaction?
From the outpouring of grief from fans across the world though, I knew I wasn’t alone. Here was a man so open and brutally honest about mental health in his music, gone. The gravity of the situation weighed on my chest, and many others, like a tonne of bricks.
That sadness didn’t feel abstract. It felt real and raw. It was a similar feeling to when I heard David Bowie had died. Maybe you have experienced it. It begs the question: why do we grieve for people we have never met? How can we? Maybe though, that question doesn’t need an answer. Because grief is insurmountable. You cannot explain it.
It’s tied inexplicably to our capacity as human beings to feel. Something that Scott Hutchison was able to so poetically convey. Something that drew me and so many others to his music.
For me, at least, Frightened Rabbit represented hope. His lyrics brought comfort and, listening to them, I did feel better. And better. And worse. And then better. He spoke so candidly about his own mental health struggles, and I remember feeling a wash of ugly human emotions spill over me about the way things transpired.
Although it should never have come to this, importantly it has shone a light on mental health. In his honour this week, the Hutchison family has launched a charity called Tiny Changes. Closer to home, a number of Brisbane musicians have come together to throw a celebration of his life, with 100% of proceeds going to Black Dog Institute.
The National Survey of Mental Health and Wellbeing estimated almost half of the Australian population will experience mental illness at some point in their life. One in five have experienced it in the previous 12 months.
Scott Hutchison knew the importance of making tiny changes to earth. It’s days like today where it is important to step back and reflect. To hug your loved ones and remember to keep making those tiny changes.
Original article: Make Tiny Changes: Reflecting On One Year Since Scott Hutchison’s Passing